When Dreams Don't Come True

 Seems like yesterday, but it's been 19 years.

19!

A few-measly-tenths shy from being on the podium and securing a spot at the coveted Nationals.
First alternate...oh the sting of what that meant.  Honor?  Yes, of course.  But who wants to be the one left at home?  Who wants to fill out all the forms as if you've qualified and still train just to wait and see if someone will get injured in order to open up a spot for you? 

Eleven years of dedication. 5:30am mornings in a cold rink.  Bruises from unforgiving ice.  Scars from razor-sharp blades penetrating flesh.

Dreams didn't come true that day.

Sitting home and watching my competitors and friends on TV at Nationals.  That was hard.
But it's moments like those when dreams shift, alter, and rise in a different way. 
And here I sit in 2015 and watch Nationals; that sacred, annual figure skating event that anyone who has ever been in the skating world clears their schedule in order to watch.  Many of these girls weren't even born in 1996 when Michelle Kwan won and the four girls ahead of me at Sectionals all placed in the top eight at Nationals that year.  But as I look at the past two decades, I can't help but see that even in those times of broken dreams, new sprouts pop up and blossom into the most beautiful, fragrant gifts we couldn't have ever dreamt up ourselves.  We just have to trust and know something is waiting for us around the next turn even when it looks different than what we might have originally desired.  And there will be.  There always is.  Although I miss elements of the beautiful sport that gave me so much, I'm beyond thankful for all of those blossomed gifts that rose from the day dreams didn't come true.