My First Triathlon (Part 1): At The Starting Line

I'm not quite sure how I got here.  But here I stand, grateful and nervous.  At the starting line of my first triathlon.  My left foot in front of my right, leaning forward over my knee, waiting for the starting horn. The enormity of this moment overtakes me, considering the past year. 

My head floods with thoughts...
Last summer the perfect storm of sickness, stress, fears and difficulties found themselves smiling at each other and making my life feel desperate, depressed, dark.  It took all that was within me to get through each day.
Then, the plane in August.  I knew I needed to be where I could breathe, think, pray, and process.  I knew I needed to get on that plane and fly for two hours and 25 minutes to a place where my heart finds solace.  But the night before we were to fly, I couldn't sleep: overcome with frightening fears of getting on the plane and feeling the world fall in around me, of not being able to breathe, or turning around and walking back out to the corridor and off the plane.  Fear.  It had trapped me.  It had snarled me in its web of lies.  When morning came, I routinely did all we needed to do...we boarded the plane, and all I could do was pray.  For two hours and 25 minutes I prayed.  I know the Enemy did not want me to get to where I could find healing and Truth again.  
Through the days we were there, healing began and came.  Truth was spoken into me by ones who loved me.  Truth was spoken into me by soaking in the beauty around me, of a God who created all of this, for me.  Gratitude began to infuse my every nerve, my every membrane, my everything.
Nothing changed overnight, but I began to discover again the good things around me and that God is good.  As Meredith Andrews sings in her song Not For A Moment: ""You were reaching through the storm
Walking on the water
Even when I could not see
In the middle of it all
When I thought You were a thousand miles away
Not for a moment did You forsake me
After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign 
You were singing in the dark
Whispering Your promise
Even when I could not hear
I was held in Your arms
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Even in the dark
Even when it's hard
You will never leave me
After all"

I knew those words, but now I believed them, understood them.  Ten months later, here I am.  Some of the old fears creep in, but Truth overcomes.

My heart palpitates within me with a strong rhythm. The horn blows, and I race.  I've trained for this moment.  My shoes hit the pavement with each stride, the wind blows against my face as I fly down the hill on my bike, and I reach with all I've got through each stroke in the blue water until I hit the finish line.  

After all, God is constant, good, and faithful. The last ten months have proven Truth.