8 Days & Counting 'Til Our Move: Friends Are The Family We Choose for Ourselves

A dear friend handed me a card with a beautiful necklace inside. The words delicately inscribed read,
"Friends are the family we choose for ourselves."  
It got me thinking...all those times that "family" has been by our sides the past 17 years, and the reel inside my head begins:  
For those who...

held our babies

threw me wedding and baby showers

sent letters and packages to Kenya

welcomed us when we came back 

dropped us off and picked us up from the airport

sat next to me in all my craziness at Little League and soccer games and gymnastics meets

cheered for our kids

taught our kids

coached our kids

watched our kids for one reason or another 

invited our kids 

entrusted your kids with us

listened and listened and listened

allowed us to put your names on the emergency card for the kids' school 

heard our hearts

prayed with and for us

cried with us

laughed with us

celebrated with us

mentored us

worked and served with us 

showed up at our doorstep with a hot meal

gave us hand-me-downs

invited us into your homes on holidays

encouraged and deepened our faith

inspired us

loved us...

THANK YOU FROM EVERY PART OF OUR HEARTS! 

We love you and you will always be family to us.  Always.  

Thin Silver Cross: Miles Traveled

I finger the smooth, thin silver cross between my fingers that hangs from my neck.  In the Mexican dirt, the six 17-year-old girls next to me stand huddled with arms around each other as their tears flow mercilessly against their cheeks.  I observe.  I soak in the scene.  I see each tear that drops from their eyes and is wiped by damp arms. I grip my silver cross from across the Atlantic, and the years rewind in my head:

I was 17.  It was my second year traveling to Kiev, Ukraine, for Spring break and staying in an orphanage with the most precious children that grabbed my heart and changed my life.  We walked the gray hallways, played under the cloudy sky, slept down the hall from the children, and ate amongst them.  I still see their smiling faces, hear their charming voices, and feel their tiny hands gripped to mine.  My heart broke and pieces remain there, because it was in this setting where transformation happened, vulnerability revealed, and growth occurred. And it was there when I climbed onto the pale yellow school bus with my team after hugging those sweet children, said goodbye, and sat by the window next to my best friend. A waterfall burst out of my tear ducts. This silver cross has hung around my neck since that day.   

....I look at these girls with hope, anticipation, and promise for all that God wants to do in their lives, because He's alive and active today.
And this is what I would tell those five girls...
*You won't ever forget this moment.
*Cling to each other; they are the only ones that truly understand what you have experienced.
*When you are twice as old as today, you will be grateful you allowed your heart to be broken.
*You may come back, but if you don't, let these moments in your memory remain in the forefront of who you are...no matter where your feet may go.
*Let the process of transformation that has started never end.
*Continue to seek depth, feel profoundly, love extravagantly.

My fingers move to my eyes, and I wipe the wet drops that are falling from them.  My cross descends from my fingers, it hits my collar bone, and I smile.

Eyes Above The Waves

It's one of those moments.  I feel the waves surging.  The doubts are surmounting my treading.  And this song comes on and I cling to the words:

"You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand
And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine
Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior"

My soul's transparency reveals the places where fear resides, and where the unknown overwhelms.  But at this moment, "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders...Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior."  Isn't that what my heart longs for?  Then why is it so hard to embrace?  My frailty looks for a lifeboat to rescue me from the waves, and there Jesus is.  All I need to do is look up.  See Him.  Let Him pull me up and find Him in the mystery of  it all.  And to find Him is to find Everything. 

Happy Birthday To My Ten-Year-Old!

To My Decade-Old Son:

Ten short years ago on this November day, you made your grand entrance into the world with fully-developed lungs and 8lb. 2oz of exuberance.  We had been told, "Your world will forever be changed," but little did we know how much that would be true.  The nurses wrapped you in the white-striped blanket, placed the standard pink-and-blue crocheted hat on your peach-fuzzed head and rested you in our arms. Those little sharp elbows and heels that had been kicking my side constantly were now in my embrace.  At last.

The fact that you're turning double digits reminds me that the years pass by with a simple blink of the eye.  There are millions of things I love about you, but here are some of my top ten:

1) Your compassionate heart is contagious.
2) Your competitive spirit drives you to always try your best.
3) Your care for those in the world teaches me to see others through the lens of Christ.
4) Your adventurous heart leaves no rock unturned.
5) Your joy for life shows me that life is short and to take snapshots of every moment.
6) Your determination demonstrates that the impossible really can be possible.
7) Your grass-stained, holed-filled jeans says without words that you play hard and love to have fun.
8) Your memory has stored up knowledge that blows me away and Bible verses that are close to your heart when life hits.
9) Your laughter fills every centimeter in our home.
10) Your energy drove me to my knees in exhaustion when you were one, and now I will never be exhausted from walking alongside you to see how you use that energy for life itself.

It is my prayer as you continue to grow and mature that we have given you a base where you understand what unconditional love looks like, to be respectful to those around you, to treat others better than how you would want to be treated, to understand what it looks like to walk a mile in

A rattler in Mississippi

another's shoes, to clothe yourself with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control, and to love the Lord with all your heart, soul, and mind.  And also maybe one of these days you won't leave your jacket somewhere when you take it off!

Every day I thank the Lord for the gift of you, and wonder what in the world we did to get such an amazing blessing that is your life in ours.  It is a joy and honor to be your mom.  I love you, Baby.  And yes, I will always call you my baby.

Love Always and Forever,
Mom

Running through tulip fields in Oregon

Hand in hand with Gabrielle in Mexico

Always exploring...sea anemones along the California coast.

My Gymnast's First Meet

The judge lifts her arm, and my gymnast presents to the judges before mounting onto a surface that measures 3.9 inches wide and is lifted four feet high above the ground that awaits one toe slightly not placed right.  Over and over and over she has practiced this routine.  Toes pointed.  Straight legs.  Steady turns.  Now all eyes are pointed towards her, just as they had on the floor exercise, the vault, and the bars that she had already completed. I wait.  I look at the judges, pens in hands, waiting for every move.  My eyes glance to her coaches, instructing and encouraging.  And then there's me: nervous on the hard metal stands and so proud of her.  If I let my emotions go, tears would find their way down my cheeks, but I try to hold it together.
This is a moment of conquering fears, of hard work on display, and being part of a team.  It was only one month ago while finishing her first triathlon when she broke down in honest tears because she didn't like all eyes on her, and I became nervous at the impending gymnastics meet in a sport where all eyes happen to rest on the one gymnast on the apparatus.  Her sweet spirit is contagious and she has much to teach all of us; she would rather let the attention rest on others and remain in the background.  But in gymnastics, they call your name, and it's you in front of the world.  You've got to be brave.  You've got to be bold.  You've got to muster courage and do your best.  Nearly 30 years ago, I stood in her shoes in my first competition in a sport similar to this.  All of those memories wash over me, and I'm grateful I can sit here and cheer her on with an understanding heart.
She mounted on the beam, performed each move with precision in her shiny pink and black leotard, and finished with a handstand dismount.  The 11 squeaky teammates' voices cheered, she presented to the judges, received high fives from her coaches and hugs from her teammates.
Hard work.  Determination.  Conquering fear.  It paid off on this hot September day. Way to go sweet girl!

Catapulting Thoughts

Perplexing thoughts catapult back and forth across the synapses within the parameter of my brain, causing dizzy confusion and yet somehow my heart feels it all.  We face daily the reality of making decisions, but there are some that are just larger, grander decisions than others.
But here we stand at a crossroads.  One road point this way. The other road points that way.  Both are exciting, both are good.   
We trust our lives in the hands of the Potter, molding and shaping us as seems what is best to Him.  That is what we know.  That is what we rest in.  So, here we go on this adventure called Life.